The Comic, Erotic Drawings & Fantasy Fulfilment

Posted on: April 28th, 2011 by Liandra 1 Comment

I do love it when synchronicities, themes or motifs seem to show themselves in my life. You may or may not have noticed from my FAQ’s that I do make custom movies for individuals on request. I have so far only made three of these but the most favourite so far is the one I am doing currently and is a request around erotic drawings. I’m not saying anymore about that movie here as it is private and between myself and them only but I am going to share just one of the erotic drawings involved with you here that is part of the shoot because I simply love it…I love them all.

Isn’t it fucking hot??

I have long been a fan of the realm of filthy sexual drawings from my first massive crush on the infamous Jessica Rabbit and wanking over her nightclub song scene at 10 years old. I also used to draw pictures of naked men and women and of cocks and cunts and boobs when I was a teen and in my 20′s and I found the drawing of them such a turn on and then I would wank over them after I had finished. I’ve stumbled across erotic comic books too and that stuff just makes me so fucking wet I can’t explain. I came across a lesbian comic book series in the 90′s in my older sisters room that I loved but I can’t remember the name of it or how to find it. My sister seems none the wiser either and I think it may have belonged to her boyfriend at the time. I also love this doctor voluptua/ quite A LOT…but last but not least I can’t explain how horny the comic section of liandradahl.com makes me when I fantasise about what it might look like as the story unfolds and the filth ensues. I swear I even have dirty dreams about this stuff.

Does anyone else have this in their wank vault? If so come and share you favourites with me on the forum please!

Sex at Dawn

Posted on: April 18th, 2011 by Liandra 4 Comments

Sex at Dawn by Cacilda Jethá and Christopher Ryan made me happy to be an insomniac. I would wake up at 3am and gleefully reach over my slumbering spouse for the book I’ve been waiting for all my life. However, Sex at Dawn isn’t a treatise extolling the virtues of polyamory as some of you may be thinking, it is a treatise honestly exploring human sexuality from prehistoric to present day and how our current culturally enforced relationship structures are failing us and why.

I have had an interest in alternative relationship structures since I was a teen. Around the same time I started mouthing off at people about the slut/stud sexual double standards I also started mentioning the fact that monogamy doesn’t work and it seemed obvious to me humans were setting themselves up for disappointment by believing in a fairytale. I had no idea at the time that fairytale was backed by religion and science with no regard to reality. The world seemed to me to be at odds with itself. In 2003 I encounter the bonobos through Natalie Angier’s book ‘Woman’, then I discovered sex educators like Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross, I discovered Riane Eisler’s Sacred Pleasure and I started to feel there were voices of reason out there that made sense to me. That confirmed I was not a freak for being a woman with a very high sex drive who enjoyed masturbation. These voices contradicted the dominant paradigm that bases itself on theories of biological determinism for patriarchy and monogamy but Sex at Dawn is not only the nail in the coffin for those theories for me but is the crematorium too.

Through each of these new discoveries the cloak of internalised shame that shrouds a woman’s sexuality, (and mens too I have discovered) was shredded and discarded. However it can be incredibly hard in a relationship to have the courage of your convictions when your spouse holds the view that is backed by the dominant hegemonic belief system. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting I get together with monogamous people and try and convert them to my way of thinking that is an exercise in harmful futility. I mean when your spouse believes that sexual freedom is a rational choice of necessity but must always equal hurt and jealousy then the environment around that is always pessimistic. Sex at Dawn gave me a lot more hope that sexual freedom need not conjure even a modicum of jealousy, hurt or anger if we are prepared to work to be the one dictating our own emotions and our programming rather than allowing our culture to dictate it all for us to our personal detriment.

I remember the first time someone told me about secondary emotions. It was such a relief to know that I needn’t continue to suffer from them. The most salient of these being the two most destructive Anger and Jealousy. Anger and jealousy are a mask for fear and powerlessness that make us falsely feel more active and in control when we are vulnerable and insecure. We have been set up to accept these secondary emotions as primary reactions to sexual infidelity. They are not. We have been socialised to behave this way by a culture that has hegemonic heterosexual monogamous paradigms regarding sexuality that bear no resemblance to our true nature as humans. This paradigm was perpetuate by religious/political and scientific propaganda that Sex at Dawn wholly, eloquently and compassionately debunks with the most well informed interdisciplinary referencing on human sexuality I have ever had the pleasure to read. I usually find it a turn on to think of people I love and am attracted to having sex with other people. On the occasions when I also experience jealousy I can use my arousal to salve my ego. Specifically I masturbate over the situation and peoples that have caused me to feel jealous. If I could I would love to actually watch it but this is often more than other people are comfortable with. So this is what I do to bit by bit eradicate a destructive and futile emotion from my repertoire. So you can imagine I was delighted to read in Sex at Dawn that it could be far more natural to human nature to experience arousal in place of jealousy and I took from this that my method could quite likely be successful for others too who suffer from jealousy and wish to avoid that in the future.

I could go on for hours about all information and scientific, sociological and anthroplogical enlightenment in Sex at Dawn as it is incredibly comprehensive in covering human sexuality and those who have claimed to know it’s innate nature over the millenia but your time would be far better spent reading it yourself…I give it my highest recommendation as a must read for all humanity.

In Loco Parentis States, Porn Mum’s and Why I love The Netherlands

Posted on: April 9th, 2011 by Liandra 5 Comments

Yes I know there has been a genre of porn known as MILF porn since forever… but I’m not interested in that when I say porn mums…I’m interested in women producing /producing performing in pornography and having children. It’s hard and brave and every new porn mum I meet I wanna shake her hand and say hell yeah…welcome to the porn mumma club.

You see I’ve known some outrageously sexual women who’s sexual side simply shrivels up in fear of judgement once they have children. Women find it hard to merge together their filthy sexual side with the cultural ideal of what it is to be a “good mother”. So their sexuality vanishes into the shadows…and sometimes in really unfortunate circumstances it vanishes altogether eventually. So if just owning openly your sexual self and needs is hard when becoming a mother imagine what it’s like if you have a career in porn. For me motherhood came first and then I got into working at the Aussie sites. It was the best thing I could have done to boost my sexuality back up to the status it held prior to motherhood.

My daughter is 10 now and I’ve been involved in alternative porn for 8 years. I am honest with my daughter about the fact I work in the adult industry and that I make adult movies with sex in them. That’s it…that’s all she need know until she is 18. I see it as no different for her to know this than I would find explaining to her that I were say…a soldier who works in an adult industry that is trained to kill another countries version of me for our countries security. I’m sure they don’t detail to their children the fact that they also often kill women and children civilians in the process and this is called “collateral damage” in a euphemism used to distance the public from the reality. I don’t kill anyone and I’ve always made choices about being involved in the most ethical production of porn there is to offer. Sex is beautiful to me and I answer my daughters curiosities about sex thoroughly, informatively and without prejudice or exclusion. It’s tough for my little tyke though because her world is full of people who still have similar reactions to 8 year olds when the subject is brought up. I can choose who I associate with and avoid the bigots, idiots and hypocrits who will judge me for what I choose to do. My daughter cannot. She has to go to school and be confronted by all manner of people, many of whom are not tolerant of sex-positive lifestyles generally because they’re completely ignorant about it and they prefer to hand down a legacy of sexual shame, ignorance and disappointment to their daughters because they believe that’s good parenting.

So where my daughter is concerned I sometimes have to keep it all on the downlow, so she won’t be mistreated by those who prefer to perpetuate the current cultural attitudes to sex by being complicit in the suppression, repression and oppression of healthy sexual expression, desires and diversity. The shittest thing is the evidence they use to defend their position is so often the results of sexuality subverted, distorted and damaged by the very position they seek to defend. However, I digress… well my little chip off the old block just came out right and told her teacher what I do, so it’s all out in the open, and I couldn’t be more pleased. Unsurprisingly when you think about it…here in Holland where sex and sex work is dealt with in an adult and pragmatic fashion…it was really a non issue and I haven’t noticed the slightest difference whatsoever in how we’re treated. *sigh* I do love The Netherlands.

Rape Play

Posted on: April 2nd, 2011 by Liandra 5 Comments

As I write this I am attempting to upload Secure by Emily Dickinside and her partner Ju. (I say attempt as this is the 100th time in 10 days I have tried to do so…hopefully this time it works keep you’re fingers crossed for me). This is a movie that will share with you the exploration of rape play within a healthy, non-abusive relationship with safe words, contracts and clearly established boundaries all in place = CONSENT, CHOICE and CONTROL. This is a controversial issue to represent forced sex on a feminist pornography website but I couldn’t have found a more informed and thoughtful couple to share that part of their sexuality. It’s well worth watching the interview I did with them before hand if this is something unfamiliar to you. Personally I was conflicted for a long time about the fact I have rape fantasies and enjoy rape play with partners now and again… and I have been raped. I have come to understand that my fantasies and my play are the antithesis of what rape is. They are me exerting control over my personal experience and the mark it left on my psyche and reclaiming it from the fear, shame and hate that actual rape leaves festering inside you. It is also me exerting some control over rape as a ubiquitous cultural issue by opening public dialogues for women to discuss rape as a fantasy, to know that in no way indicates she wants/deserves to be raped and to shed the guilt that these fantasies create for women who have them.