I have a long standing fetish for lap-dances. The first adult shoot I ever did I took my money immediately to a strip club and spent it all, every last $ on lap-dances and tips for the women. It was worth it…though I then had to do another shoot to pay my university fees but hey…shooting was fun and I wasn’t complaining about doing more of it. Sometime later when I had more creative control I killed two birds with one stone and did a lap-dance shoot.

I know a lot of people think stripping is demeaning and I do understand why. It’s because it’s being looked at in this sex negative woman shaming perspective…and because that is how it is presented in the clubs too. I’ve been thrown out of strip clubs for reprimanding men for speaking in derogatory, aggressive and hostile ways to the women working there. It drives me nuts that they aren’t required to be respectful and grateful for the performances they get to see and interact with. That is what a lap-dance is for me. An interactive sexual performance that has rules. No touching. It should have more rules…for example…No insults. No aggression. No disrespect. No trying to get freebies. These should be expellable offences. Patron, men or women, need to recognise that you are getting the privilege of a naked human’s performance and be thankful for it. I have long since decided that the reason this is allowed to continue by the proprietors is;

a) because club proprietors are often very unimaginative and just want the punters money and don’t really care for the performers

b) because keeping women shamed and demeaned as sex workers denies them full access to the sensual power of being naked in a room full of clothed lusting people who are willing to part with hard earned money for your performance. It inverts this power and puts a low level threat to the safety, happiness and self esteem of the performer.

As it happens I haven’t had a lapdance in almost two years. I tried in Amsterdam but the clubs there are very tacky and unfortunately none of the women had natural breasts. For me that is an important preference. I’ve been back in Melbourne nearly two months and it just dawned on me that I haven’t availed myself of the delictable strip tease clubs Melbourne has to offer. Some of course are better than others but really all of them leave a something to be desired. I don’t mean the women, I mean the context of the clubs themselves. I have wanted to open my own strip club since I was about 19. I would want to change a number of things about what people normally expect from strip clubs. My changes would be as follows
1) Respect and gratitude from patrons is mandatory and strictly enforced
2) Freedom of choice for pubic hair for performers
3) Natural bodied performers prefered
4) Good music, ranging all over different genres. Occasional live music.

Speaking of music, I would be interested to hear from you all what tracks you think would be best to give or get a lap-dance to?